Why I lose and find myself in writing
Have you ever noticed things or people coming in and out of your life years apart, seemingly at auspicious times?
Resulting in a quizzical hmm that comes across your mind when something appears more than coincidental?
Like maybe it was a strong hint you needed from the universe?
Two years ago I bought my very first expensive pen: that is, a pen that doesn’t come in a 10 pack from a supermarket or cost more than five dollars from a stationery store.
I have ‘issues’ being a writer – (see Writers Who Sip Caffe Latte) – so when I finally bought a real pen a whole decade after writing my first book, it was a life-affirming moment.
The pen is the kind that comes with ink refills, has an expensive look and heavy feel, is made with stunning Swarovski crystals and has a protective velvet pouch.
It doesn’t help me write any better than a lead pencil but it was almost a recognition to myself that as a writer I should own a piece of heavy duty equipment to prove it.
I mostly felt, however, I should never have bought something so indulgent … so I kept it in a bedside drawer and only used it occasionally, quickly putting it back so it wasn’t on showy display.
And as happens when we feel awkward about something we kinda feel we don’t deserve … I quickly lost it. I looked everywhere, turning a lounge upside down and feeling inside every zip pocket of handbags, suitcases and jackets.
Until I felt it never belonged to me anyhow.
Writing becomes a part of us: we learn who we are and earn great strength through our writing.
Coincidentally I didn’t write much for a long time thereafter. I had so many challenges keeping me stressed and really didn’t have much juice for ideas. I jotted things here and there; half-heartedly started blogging; kept changing my mind and eventually needed to stop.
Full stop.
More than two years later unpacking a fire bag out fell the velvet pouch, with the deluxe pen inside.
Stunned?
Yes.
Confused?
Completely.
Was the universe trying to tell me something?
I felt the lovely smooth metal of the pen between my fingers and played with it clicking it a dozen times.
It was symbolic.
A magic wand perhaps, for a writer.
A reminder of what was missing in my life.
A reminder how much I love to write and play with the fantastical world using the word.
“We lose ourselves in the things we love:
We find ourselves there too” Kristin Martz
A reminder to resurrect my books; to get stuck into my writing project ideas; to get moving now and stop procrastinating.
A reminder to get back into it.
A reminder, in fact, writing should be my first challenge and the stress-fest stuff come in second, third or last.
The universe likes to send a reminder now and then: a poke, a prod, a nod … a nudge, a swift kick, an unavoidable truth or a stern reckoning tends to be part of the process of destiny.
And for us writers the beautiful sentiment from the first Harry Potter movie that “the wand chooses the wizard” feels absolutely true.
Writing becomes a part of us: we learn who we are and earn great strength through our writing.
My beautiful pen is now on permanent display along with luxe writing papers, a notebook, a folder and I’m prioritising my plethora of ideas.
What have you noticed come in and out of your life like a hint from destiny?
Warmest, Renee
Disclaimer: this blog post is intended as a beautiful and thought-provoking article for entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice and cannot substitute for medical care. No representations are made as to the completeness of any information and the author is not liable for any losses, injuries or damages from the use of this information.
