Why is support so crucial? In today’s world we live very disconnected, individual lives. We don’t have much to do with our neighbours or communities as in past times and life can be very isolating. Women often find this when they have children when their families are not living near by and all of a sudden they are on their own. We are like a bunch of people all sharing the same area but with no direct contacts with each other. Making things more difficult is the way we tend to hide things from other people. We want to keep our mask on at all costs letting everyone know that we are just fine.
Regardless of our social predicament, everyone needs support. Support for when you’re stressed, support for when you have children, support when someone passes away, support when you get a new job or lose a job, support when you feel anxious or depressed, support when you need to regain your faith things will work out.
It’s easy to feel as though you have to do it all yourself. That you can fix things yourself or that you don’t want to burden anyone with your problems. But why should you do it all yourself? Have you had the training to know how to work out your own problems and be unbiased with what is going on with you? And why should you not have someone to support you. Any good friend would want to provide this for you as you would for them.
You also cannot fix the problem from the consciousness that created it. That means while we are “in” our problem we cannot possibly fix it from that head space. This is why we need others to help us gain more awareness and get out of it.
When you try to do it alone things suffer, relationships break down, you get less productive at work and perhaps depressed or anxious. It’s not a very good way to live especially when it can be prevented by talking to a friend or professional about it.
How do you turn it around?
- Become aware of the beliefs that are operating underneath helps to release it (ie. I don’t want to burden people, I’m not good enough, it will go away, I don’t want people to think there’s something wrong with me).
- Notice your patterns with how you deal with your problems. Do you reach for alcohol, drugs or food when you are needing help? Do you withdraw from life and people? Do you bury yourself in work?
- Start asking for what you need even though it creates fear or anxiety. As long as you keep checking in with your true feelings, these anxieties will pass.
- Find someone to talk to about how you feel and your negative beliefs.
- Be kind to yourself. Find ways you can support yourself from 5 minute ideas to 5 hours.
And remember, everyone has problems they are just good at hiding them. Reaching out and making connections will make you feel better and closen your relationships.
