Fear is like a noose around our necks that holds us in places we don’t want to be. Fear can sometimes overcome us when we have the best of intentions to fight it. Fear lurks in the shadows of our mind like a predator waiting to eat us up. It locks us into patterns and lifestyles which are not only bad for us but also affect people around us who watch what is happening and just want the best for us.
Many of my clients suffer from panic attacks, anxiety and depression. Many are gripped by fear. Stuck yet too afraid to change the life they are not happy with because they fear the unknown. Many are on medications they don’t want to take but fear going off them. They have been led to believe that they will be sick for life and are frozen in that false belief. Often these types of fear begin at a very young age with children being afraid of the dark and, if that fear is not validated, it buries itself deep within our psyche and comes out in many different ways. The giant fears you have most likely began when you were young and were built upon as life continued.
We all know the small fears, which are almost like a mix of fear and excitement, when we meet a new partner or go for a job interview. Those moments are really important to us. There are also big fears that are quite normal. Sometimes we believe there is something wrong with us when we have those fears and we don’t realise that one in four people, for example, experience panic attacks at some stage in their life.
It is quite normal to have a bit of a fear of death, another example. No one wants to leave this planet, to say goodbye to what we have worked for, to never see the people we love again and go to somewhere we don’t know is good or bad. Think about it. That is what we are brought up to believe death is all about. This is a misconception though, which I will elaborate in another article in the future.
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Fear of pain or illness is also a normal reaction. It’s not pleasant and once pain is gone we never want it to return. Also sometimes we go through stages where we nurse sick relatives for years and, when they finally pass, it may leave us with a sense of sorrow, yet also a sense of relief. Relief for them as their suffering has ended. Relief for us as the emotional strain of looking after them, despite how much we loved them, is over. We had to watch them suffer and it is natural to fear that we will have to go through that again or even that it will happen to us.
Then there are the fears about loss: loss of relationship, loss of job, loss of money etc. Add to this the real loses that we suffer which are greater than the worry of a loss that actually never happens. So fear and worry are sometimes a big part of our personal lives. Add to that the fear of what is happening to this planet, global warming, terrorism, humanitarian issues, poverty, starvation and it all makes for a pretty heavy, nasty world.
But it doesn’t have to be like that. There are many techniques that allow you to let go of fears, create a positive mind-state and follow through with actions so that you don’t remain stuck.
Bach remedies and Bush Flower Remedies are two that I use with success in my practice for people who suffer from too much fear to handle. Add to that some adrenal support, building up the nervous system and immunity, and learning some mindfulness techniques, and the person begins to change. I find hypnotherapy and NLP are two other helpful devices to stop those fears from ruling our lives.
One example that springs to mind is a young woman in her 20s who had been talked into booking a wonderful trip to Asia with her friends. She was terrified of flying. She called me when she had about two weeks before she travelled. She was terrified yet felt compelled to go. What could I do for her?
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Well, two and a half weeks is not a long time to allay a lifetime of phobia of flying. However, I said I would give it a go, so she came for a consultation. We put her on some Bach Remedies, treated her adrenals and stress levels with supplements and also did some hypnotherapy and NLP counselling. In those two weeks she began to learn to meditate for the first time and left me with supplements in hand, some meditation CDs and three hypnotherapy sessions under her belt. Six weeks later I got a call about the wonderful holiday she’d had. She said she’d had not one trace of fearfulness on the plane or anywhere else in the exotic places she travelled.
So fear can be controlled – but it seems to have a secret to its control. Some of the devices I have already listed above and a good practitioner can get you on the right path. Ultimately though you are the one who needs to make up your mind that you are not going to remain stuck and ensure that you put into practice the things you have learnt. Books, CDs, therapy, supplements, proper diet, exercise, meditation etc are all useless if you don’t do them. It’s one thing to talk about these and say how good they are and another to put them into your daily lifestyle to manifest a life of peace and happiness.
Freedom from fear involves having a love for life and its experiences. If you have lost that spark to motivate you then please seek out help because it does not have to be that way. Life can begin for you at any age you want it to, whether you be 16 or 60 or 80. It’s about the quality of your life not the years you have lived. So maybe it’s time to make fear let go of the handle it has on your mind and emotions and move to a better place and a new beginning?
