9 steps to transformation

Transformation (noun): a marked change in form, nature or appearance. Well, that’s the dictionary definition, anyway, but somehow it just doesn’t harness the subtle nuances of how incredibly important transformation can be in your life. You see, many of us want to be transformed, but it’s more than just a revision or amendment that we seek.

Often we try to change our worlds from the outside in, but we end up with little more than an alteration. The real transformation happens from the inside out. In fact, it’s only once you realise this that the change begins.

What, then, do you have to do to achieve transformation? Well, whether it’s in your spiritual world, your inner world, your emotional world or your health world, change and transformation happen at the speed of questions. It’s human nature to ask questions — we all do it — but most people ask the wrong questions in life and then wonder why they’re getting the wrong answers. Questions (especially lots of the right ones) are the keys to growth.

There is a very fine distinction that can be the difference between advancing and staying stuck in a rut, like in the movie Groundhog Day. This thin veil is in the questions you ask. Most people ask themselves “Why is this happening to me?” rather than “What can I learn from this?” What you should always be asking is “What is life trying to teach me?” The truth is that many times in life we forget that the questions we ask can sometimes be reactionary rather than productive. If you want to see transformation in any part of your life, understand that, first, transformation is a process.

Here are my nine metamorphosis-making questions. If you take action, these questions will pave the way for transformation in your life.

1. Am I willing to go through a process for transformation?
2. What do I really want or what do I really want to achieve?
3. What habits do I have to develop to create the mindset to get me to where I want to go?
4. What have I been taught up until now that I need to discard?
5. What kind of a mentor do I need?
6. What are my associations like?
7. How much am I willing to invest to achieve my transformation?
8. What price am I unwilling to pay?
9. What’s my dream?

OK, now let’s have a closer look at these.

Am I willing?

The first thing you need to address is this: “Am I willing to go through a process for transformation?” In this day and age, we all want the quick fix, but quite frankly that never works. It’s actually very naive to think you can flip from one state to another already fully equipped. The knowledge and capability you need take time and practice to completely embed inside you.

For example, I have been asked about material increase many times. The question goes like this: “How can I get rich quick?” My standard answer is “Very slowly.” It’s kind of like, how do you get healthy? Or how do you become more anchored emotionally? The answer is always “Slowly.”

Often, we fail to understand that any transformation is a process. Let’s think of the butterfly. It starts off as a little grub that then goes into this cocoon. Over time and through great struggle this magnificent butterfly emerges. There’s an important lesson here and the butterfly illustrates it beautifully.

What we continuously seem to forget is that the power is in the process. If you interrupt that process at any time, you’ll destroy that delicate creature and you’ll never see it fly its beautiful colours. Remember to ask yourself: “Am I willing to go through a process?”

What do I really want?

The next question you need to ask is “What do I really want or what do I really want to achieve?” This may be news to you but fuzzy dreams don’t come true. And fuzzy goals don’t come true, either.

Obscurity, vagueness and lack of decision do not equal achievement. Many people don’t get what they want in life simply because they don’t really know what they want. For instance, they don’t know what they want in the areas of health, emotional balance or even removing the baggage in their lives. What is it that you really want? What is your desired outcome? Remember, if it’s a mist in your head, it’s going to be a fog out there in your life.

Do I have the correct habits?

Another pertinent question is “What habits do I need to develop to get the mindset I need to take me where I want to go?” Our habits either make us or break us. Habits are the things that cause us to be consistent in life and achieve a desired outcome. For example, your daily routine may have things like spiritual habits or hygiene habits or perhaps healthy eating habits. All these bring us to a point of arrival. We arrive somewhere because of the habits we have made or, tragically, because of the habits we haven’t made.

What is it that doesn’t serve me?

Another question you should ask is “What have I been taught up until now that I need to discard?” Take note now because this is a big one, one we all should revisit regularly.

So often in life we seek transformation but we don’t remove old thinking. To bring about change we need to peel off some of the thought patterns, some of the mindsets or cultural inhibitions and inhibiting factors that serve us no purpose. This can also include any religious inhibitions, old school mindsets and irrelevant beliefs that are no longer a part of our present world.

Ask yourself “Who taught me this?” If the person who taught it to you is not the kind of person you aspire to be, then I strongly suggest you discard that kind of mindset and thought pattern. Our lives rise to the level of the voices we choose to believe. If you believe certain voices in your life, that’s how your life will rise or fall. Remember, what surrounds you gets inside of you. So it’s important in this transformation to surround yourself with the right kind of voices. Which brings me to another point …

Mentors: the fast track

“What kind of a mentor do I need?” In life we only learn in two ways: through mistakes or mentors. One of these is cheaper and the other is faster! If someone wrote a book on how to get healthy in 30 or 60 days or how to create better eating habits in 30 or 60 days, and it had taken them a lifetime to learn it, why wouldn’t you read that book? You could read it in just a few hours and learn all that wisdom gained over all those years.

I’ve discovered that many seek transformation without mentorship. That’s like being a sportsman without a coach. You may get results, but you won’t get great results. You see, your mentor is concerned with your future. Sadly, when it comes to mentors, many of us use the word so lightly and so glibly we really don’t know what it is. A mentor is not someone whose advice you listen to; it’s someone whose advice you follow!

Mentors should not only be comfortable with your past but they should also be committed to your future. A mentor is someone you respect and aspire to be, someone whose advice you cling to so you can emulate and mirror them. I can’t overstate what an important thing it is to have a person such as this in your life. It’s fundamental. They help you in the process of transformation.

Check your associations

Now, you won’t get too far with your transformation without addressing this question: “What are my associations like?” Remember, our lives rise or fall according to those who are closest to us. We often teach our children that you can’t soar with the eagles if you’re strutting with the turkeys. Or when you lie down with dogs you’ll get up with fleas. As tough as these metaphors are, they illustrate the point well.

Have a think about your circle of friends. What have they got you reading? What have they got you believing? Where have they got you going? How have they got you feeling about yourself? Understand that, in our world, associations equal assimilations. Who you assimilate into your life will more than likely be a prophecy of where you will be heading in your life.

For many years I ran a drug rehabilitation centre for young offenders and I found the greatest challenge that I had wasn’t breaking them of their addictions — it was breaking them of the associations that kept them locked in their lifestyles.

Invest in yourself

Have you ever thought about how much you are willing to invest to achieve your transformation? I’m always wary of people who want me to invest time, money and effort into their transformations but are not willing to invest in it themselves. You see, if you’re going to be transformed it requires personal investment and responsibility. Be aware and watch out for the quick-fix gurus because their schemes don’t work. The truth is transformation requires a seed to be invested in the soil of your heart and over time it will bring you a great harvest.

When is the cost too much?

Let me ask you this: What price are you unwilling to pay? You see, it’s not the price you are willing to pay but the price you are unwilling to pay that will prevent you from achieving your goals. It’s the person who’s unwilling to stop eating the wrong kind of food or who is unwilling to curb their anger or their resentment. It’s the person who is unwilling to step across the bridge and forgive a hurt or an offence in their life. These are the people who generally don’t see transformation. However, if you’re willing and you’re open, your life can be transformed over time simply by committing to the process.

What’s my dream?

This last question is of vital importance. If you don’t know the answer, transformation will be very difficult. These questions might help you:

• What do I want to be?
• Where do I want to go and what do I want to aim at?
• What is the big picture here in my life?

Remember, if you can find a reason to be transformed, you’ll find a way to be transformed, but if you don’t have a reason, your goals will never be achieved. A dream or a transformation without a plan will never bear fruit in your life. You’ve got to find your why and your purpose because purpose and reason motivate; they are the driving inner forces that cause us to create positive change.

After all, you are a unique being with unique gifts and unique talents. It might seem obvious to you, but others don’t get your dream like you do. By finding your purpose and your reason, your transformation will bring great cause for celebration of the growth you’ve achieved. Stay focused on the process; spend the time; live your transformed future.

Remember, a dream in your heart without a plan in your head will never be a result in your hand.

I wish you prosperity and success in your journey of transformation.

Pat Mesiti is a highly effective communicator and most notably an income acceleration coach. His passion is to equip and empower individuals and businesses to experience growth and prosperity to their fullest potential. See mesiti.com.