How to set clear boundaries
The past couple of weeks have been filled with lessons on how to set clear boundaries for myself. I know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this and I bet this resonates for you too.
How do we set clear boundaries in order to fully honour and love ourselves?
Most of us, especially women, have been brought up to look after others people’s needs before our own. We have been raised to be “good girls” who are applauded when we care for others but not so much when we express our own needs and desires. In order to remember how to honour and love ourselves I believe that we need to start looking within and listen to that inner voice calling us home.
Most of us are so caught up in our busy lives that we don’t take the time to slow down and really listen. And yet it all starts there. I invite you to ask yourself the following questions:
- Who am I?
- What do I truly desire?
- How do I honour myself?
Take the time you need to sit with these questions and journal or draw whatever comes up for you. You may need to go back a few times in order to go deeply into each question. When you feel ready, look at what holds you back from honouring yourself and your desires. What thoughts or feelings surface when you imagine taking steps towards your desires? Do you feel unworthy of them? Or maybe you doubt your own power to actually go through with them?
Whatever you long for will keep calling your name until you say yes.
It’s like following the security advice when you are on a plane – put on your oxygen mask first before you assist anyone else.
Setting clear boundaries means that you decide where you end and other people begin. Imagine that you have a bubble of energy around your body and that this is your space only. You can of course interact with other people and have loving and close relationships but nobody else but you are allowed into your bubble.The first part of this journey is to take a close look at yourself and your dreams and desires. The second part is to connect with your own voice and your own essence so that your actions start from there. When you are deeply connected to your essence you will be guided to the next steps. You will feel an urge to move forward and create what you are meant to create. In order to do this in a clear and powerful way you need to set clear boundaries and respect them.
Honouring your own energy and your boundaries also means that your needs and desires come first even when people around you are in need. By need I mean emotional, physical or spiritual needs. It’s like following the security advice when you are on a plane – put on your oxygen mask first before you assist anyone else.
By honouring your needs you can be more helpful and loving towards others because you are giving from a place of abundance.
When you start taking care of yourself first and practice self-love your cup will be filled and overflow. When you are in this state you are much more able to support others.
I’ve been experimenting with my boundaries over the last few weeks and sometimes this has led to clearer and stronger relationships with the people I love but in some cases it has been very challenging.
I would love to know how you set boundaries and what your biggest challenges are.
