Pursuing pillow talk
The pursuit of things can have unintended consequences. Luke Skywalker didn’t know he would discover his father is a dark Lord of the Sith when he set out to save a beautiful princess from the evil Empire. Christopher Columbus set out to discover a new trade route to Asia but stumbled upon the Caribbean instead. You can set out on a journey thinking you want one thing but it actually brings you things you would never have expected and the journey to orgasm, according to a new study, is one of those journeys.
On one level the pursuit of orgasm might be seen as a purely pleasurable one, but it does have consequences, in particular for communication.
To study this researchers simply had subjects keep a journal of sexual activity and orgasm frequency over the course of two weeks as well as reporting on the quality and nature of any communication that followed. Journal reporting is not perhaps the most watertight of study designs but it beats having a researcher sitting in the room with a microphone as that can tend to inhibit people…from talking.
The results showed that orgasm has a definite impact on communication following sex and, interestingly, so does alcohol consumption.
People who orgasmed tended to perceive greater benefits in disclosing information after sex and they also tended to divulge more important information and to be less censored about what they shared. By contrast, the more alcohol a person had consumed the less benefits they saw in sharing information and the less deep what they did share.
It is all because immediately after orgasm the brain is flooded with oxytocin, a hormone that promotes a greater sense of trust and reduced perceptions of threat. Oxytocin is essentially an upper whereas alcohol is a downer and so communication is boosted by orgasm and reduced by alcohol. The researchers think that orgasm can counteract the negative effects of alcohol but that people who have regularly drink alcohol before having sex may have developed communication patterns that interfere with post-sex communication.
It raises questions too as to the effect of using alcohol as a social lubricant. What is the quality of the conversations and interactions that flow from alcohol-fuelled brains? OK, admittedly, if you want to boost your oxytocin and the quality of your conversations as a result, an orgasm is not a feasible, easily accessible, public way to do that. You can however boost your oxytocin in other ways like: giving a gift, sharing a meal, meditating, expressing gratitude, patting an animal, telling someone you love them, or having a hug. If an orgasm isn’t appropriate, and let’s be honest there are times when it isn’t, and you want more from your time with someone that alcohol will support, then try any of these things to give your oxytocin levels a boost and your conversation will benefit as well.
