Cheap gifts

As a general rule you would think that you would give more generously to your friends than to a stranger. In fact, the research supports that this is generally true and people do give more to loved ones than to unknown people. However, it is not always that straightforward. In a new study it has been shown that sometimes people actually behave more selfishly towards people they know and it is because of a phenomenon known as the “friendly taking effect”.

To reach their conclusions the researchers conducted seven different experiments that explored many different types of relationships and how they influenced sharing behaviour. The relationships ranged through naturally occurring friendships to assigned partnerships in the laboratory.

As an example, in one study subjects were asked to enter into a raffle in which each winner and one person they knew would win some chocolates. They had to choose between two different packages offering different prize distributions. In Package A the winner would receive seven chocolates and the other person three chocolates, a total of ten chocolates with no sharing allowed. In Package B the winner received two chocolates and the other person received six for a total of eight, again with no sharing.

The variable was that sometimes people were sharing chocolates with a friend while on other occasions it was an acquaintance.

Results showed that when the sharing was to be with a friend almost 66 per cent of people chose Package A where they received more chocolates than their partner but more chocolates were received overall. However, when people thought they were sharing with an acquaintance only 33 per cent chose Package A. The question has to be…why?

The researchers call it the “friendly taking effect” and say that it comes about because we make a calculation based on the “self-other collective”. When the “other” is a friend then they say that what looks like a selfish act is actually a friendly intention to boost the benefit for the pair because they see themselves and the friend as a unit.

Next time you are accused of being a little cheap with your gift-giving you can just reassure your friend or partner that you were acting in the interest of the “self-other collective”.