Who wins the dating game?

Dating has to be one of the purest forms of pleasure and pain available. Wrap expectation, hope, and a frisson of sexual energy up with the possibility of rejection, failure, and derision and that’s a potent emotional cocktail to be swallowing. As in all things of course, dating is easier for some people than others and now research has suggested just who it is that has an easier time in the potential acid bath that is dating.

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld said that dating is just like a job interview that goes all night. If he is right, and as a comedian we expect him to be so, the question is, “What are we being interviewed for?” The answer is, “Sex, you idiot, sex, sex, sex!” Alright, in the interests of attributing some nobility to the human experience, let’s say that dating is about mating; finding a mate with whom you have a deep and immutable emotional and spiritual connection…and the probability of good sex. Of course all of that comes down to attraction and research tells us that people who have the best sense of whether other people find them attractive will do better at dating. What the new research has revealed is the type of people who are best at assessing their own attractiveness to others.

Much previous research on dating has asked people what they look for in a partner when they are dating. The conundrum has always been however that what people say they like (honesty, sense of humour etc.) may not be what they really like (a hot body). So this research bypassed that issue to look at what sort of people are good at judging whether someone else is attracted to them.

A total of 380 people took part in a speed-dating session and after each three-minute date they filled out surveys asking “do you want to see that person again?” and “do you think they want to meet you again?” The people were also given questionnaires to establish their personality traits.

The results showed that on the whole people are very poor at estimating if someone else is attracted to them. Some subjects were never correct in this assessment. Others did better and those who did well had certain personality traits but those traits differed for men and women.

The men who were the best at judging their attractiveness to others had a more promiscuous orientation. The researchers said this was probably because they displayed behaviour that was highly stereotypical which in turn evoked stereotypical behaviour that was easy to read in the women they were with. As an additional possibility, might it also be that if you are a promiscuous man looking for casual sex then reading the interest of potential partners is a skill that you will develop?

On the other hand, the women who were most successful at reading their attractiveness to others were those who had an “agreeable” personality. The researchers think that agreeable women will make their men feel more comfortable and more willing to flirt, or not, which would make the men easier to read.

So there you have it; information that probably does nothing to make the dating cocktail easier to swallow but at least you know a little more about what’s in it.

Source: Psychological ScienceMeanwhile if you visit Meijer Ad that contains mostly likewise discounts with Winn Dixie Ad you surely have a range like ALDI Ad.