Rejection is unhealthy
Humans love story-telling. We engage in story-telling in many ways from having a chat, to reading a book, to watching a film or television program. Even reality television, in all its turgid ignominy, is a form a story as the viewer engages in the participants’ travails. If you examine them, central to all forms of story-telling, are issue around acceptance and rejection. This is because, according to authors of a new report, acceptance and rejection are fundamental to the human experience. Indeed so fundamental are they, that they have implications for your physical and mental wellbeing.
Although psychologists have had a long-standing interest in close relationships it is only in the last decade or so that a lot of focus has turned to rejection. In this new report, psychologists have observed that human beings have weak claws, little fur, and long childhoods. All of these qualities mean that we need to live in a group to survive in a harsh environment. Although economic constructs, solid walls, and extensive clothing have made people feel safe and protected, being accepted by the group is still important.
Of course the alter ego of acceptance is rejection and for all the good that acceptance can do for a human being, rejection can do just as much harm. These researchers observe that people who feel isolated and lonely have physical problems as a result including poor sleep, weakened immune systems, and a reduced life expectancy.
On the mental level, rejection is linked to anxiety and depression. In terms of depression it can become a vicious cycle as people with depression can face exclusion because of the symptoms of their disorder and that rejection can make them more depressed.
On a societal level rejection can disrupt the fabric of daily life as people who have been excluded can often lash out at others. In experiments people who had been excluded were more likely to give people painfully hot sauce in their food, blast them with intense noise, or destructively evaluate job candidates. In the real world 87 per cent of school shooters have been socially rejected.
Given its implications, and the certainty that it will happen to everyone at some time, it is very important to know how to deal with rejection. The researchers say that the best way to deal with rejection is not to wallow in it but to seek out sources of acceptance and friendship.
This all just highlights how central acceptance is to your life. You need it from others so why not grant it to them. If we all make an effort to show acceptance to others around us, no matter how different they may be, imagine the positive ripples that might spread throughout the world.
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