Break free from overthinking
Do you get stuck in your mind? Do you struggle to switch off ? Do you ruminate on what has been or what might go wrong in the future? While we all worry at times, overthinking is a habit that can hold you back in life and undermine your health and wellbeing. But where is the line between “just thinking” and overthinking?
What is overthinking?
Clinical psychologist Dr Chris Mosunic defi nes overthinking as “the continuous, draining process of analysing a situation way past its usefulness.” Nick Trenton, author of Stop Overthinking, says, “Excessive thinking occurs when our thought processes are out of control, causing us distress. Endless analysis of life and of self is usually unwanted, unstoppable and self-defeating.” He adds: “Classic overthinking often amplifi es itself, or goes round in circles forever, and thoughts seem intrusive.”
This excessive thought habit is unhelpful. Dr Mosunic explains that “Refl ection on the past or prepping for a future scenario can be helpful and tends to lead to supportive discoveries and growth. Overthinking, on the other hand, tends to be unhelpful.”
So, what does overthinking look like? Would you be able to recognise the signs that signal you’ve slipped from helpful thinking to unhelpful thinking? According to psychotherapist Amy Morin in her article How to Stop Overthinking, the signs you’re overthinking include:
• Constantly feeling worried or anxious
• Fixating on things outside of your control
• Feeling mentally exhausted
• Having a lot of negative thoughts
• An inability to think about anything else
• Being unable to relax
• Replaying a situation or experience in your mind
• Second-guessing your decisions
• Thinking of all the worst-case scenarios
Why do we overthink?
It’s probably unsurprising that overthinking is not good for your health or mental wellbeing. So why do we do it? Trenton says that “many of us have become habitual over-thinkers because it gives us the illusion that we’re doing something about the problem we’re overthinking about.” Overthinking can make you feel in control and like you’re solving your problems.
In fact, in her book Change Your Thinking, Dr Sarah Edelman says that many people hold positive beliefs about the role worry plays in their life, such as:
• Worrying can prevent bad things from happening
• Worrying helps me to prepare for future threats
• Worrying helps me find solutions
• Worrying prepares me for the worst
• Worrying gives me control
• Worrying motivates me to do things
Can you relate to these positive beliefs about worry?
Dr Edelman explains that as long as we believe these positive beliefs, we’ll fi nd it hard to let go of the habit.
I was stuck in this worry and overthinking habit for most of my younger life. I defi nitely believed that if I invested huge amounts of time and energy in a decision, I would always make the right choices, never let anyone down, never be disappointed and never fail at anything.
Of course, as I got older, I saw that this wasn’t the case — overthinking simply gave me the illusion of control. In my experience, no matter how much time and energy I poured into trying to make the “perfect decision” and to “be fully prepared”, I couldn’t always guarantee the outcome. I couldn’t always stop myself from feeling pain, discomfort or disappointment. Quite simply, I couldn’t always control my life.
I also realised that the time and energy I’d invested in overthinking hadn’t always been the best use of my one precious life. Did I really need to pull allnighters to get a high-distinction at university, when a distinction or credit would have been fi ne? Was investing 10 extra hours researching a new fridge to purchase really required? Was it necessary to spend four hours looking up all the possible restaurants in the area to fi nd the “perfect” place for the next catchup with my best friend?
I’ve realised that a lot of my overthinking was a waste of time and energy. However, I’ve also come to appreciate that a lot of it was driven by anxiety. I got stuck overthinking, over-researching and overworking because I felt anxious about not being good enough, making mistakes, not making other people happy or looking silly.
Trenton says, “When we are talking about overthinking, we are talking about anxiety.” He breaks it down into cause and eff ect, saying, “Anxiety as the root cause (the why) and overthinking as the eff ect (or how).” Overthinking becomes a way to deal with the discomfort of anxiety. Award-winning medical journalist and emotional wellbeing writer and speaker Sophie Scott says, “Overthinking can come from a desire to be in control of all aspects of your life.” Trying to be in control is also a common response to anxiety.
The impact of overthinking
The anxious brain becomes hyper-fi xated on risks, dangers and worst-case scenarios. As a result, the anxious mind develops a type of negative tunnel vision. This tunnel vision is why it can be hard to step away from rumination and gain a broader perspective. It becomes a vicious cycle that’s hard to break and impacts your ability to make decisions.
Dr James Christopher Fowler, director of professional wellness at the Houston Methodist, says, “Problem-solving is when you ask questions with the intent of finding an answer and/or enacting a solution. Overthinking, on the other hand, is when you dwell on possibilities and pitfalls without any real intent of solving a problem.”
This dwelling and obsessive thinking can actually stop you from making decisions at all. As Dr Fowler says, “Careful analysis and scrutiny can improve some choices, but if we get caught up in analysing every potential outcome, due diligence can lead to excessive worrying and decision paralysis.”
Not only does overthinking cause “decision paralysis”, but it also changes the chemistry in your brain and body. When you become anxious, your body’s HPA axis (hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis) is activated, which switches on your body’s sympathetic nervous system. This is known as your fight-flight-freeze survival response and causes a spike in your stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol.
This is fi ne if the spike is short-lived and you move back to a state of calm relatively quickly. However, being exposed to high levels of stress hormones can deplete your body, creating inflammation, disrupting your endocrine system, contributing to poor sleep, weakening your immune system and impacting your ability to concentrate. Overthinking can also compromise your mental health. While overthinking is linked to anxiety and past trauma, research has now found that overthinking can contribute to the development of anxiety and depression.
The power of neuroplasticity
While you might think overthinking is helping you, it’s clearly doing more harm than good. The good news is you can change your brain — this is the power of neuroplasticity. What you do every day shapes your brain. By adopting new thinking and lifestyle habits, you can find effective ways to deal with anxiety and break free from overthinking.
12 tips to break free from overthinking
1. Stay in the present: Overthinking keeps you stuck ruminating about the past or feeling anxious about the future. Come back to the present moment by engaging with your body and your senses using the “5-4-3-2-1” technique. Notice fi ve things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Take a few deep inhalations and exhalations to release tension and switch on your parasympathetic nervous system.
2. Journal: When your anxious thoughts are running on an endless loop in your mind, journaling can help. Externalising your thoughts creates space in your head, allowing you to think more clearly and see solutions. Grab a pen and paper and do a brain drop of everything you’re thinking and feeling — just let it all out.
3. Talk it out: Speak to someone else about your worries and the decisions you’re trying to make. When you’re too close to something or feeling anxious, you often can’t see clearly or objectively; talking to others can broaden your perspective and calm your fears.
4. Don’t sweat the small stuff: When fear and anxiety kicks in, everything feels important — that’s simply part of the brain’s hard-wired survival response. It’s exhausting though! Take the time to pause and decide if your overthinking is truly worth your time and energy. For example, what restaurant to meet up with your friends doesn’t warrant huge amounts of thought and energy; however, deciding your next career move does.
5. Create an anchor statement: Underneath the anxiety that drives overthinking can be the fear of making mistakes, letting people down, not feeling good enough and failing. Choose an anchor statement that reminds you of your value, strength and resilience: “I am not responsible for everyone else’s happiness.” “I am allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.” “I can’t control everything in my life and that’s okay.” “I don’t need to be perfect and have all the answers to do a great job.”
6. Use your values: As a psychologist once said to me, “There are no perfect decisions.” All choices have pros and cons, but when you make decisions based on your values it supports your higher good. Get clear on your top life values and use them to filter your options, so you don’t have to worry about making the “wrong” choice.
7. Set a decision deadline: Having too long to decide can lead to overthinking and increased anxiety. Use time to your advantage. Give yourself a deadline to make your decision, then let it go. For example, try giving yourself 30 minutes to decide which restaurant to book, or give yourself three months to decide on your next career move.
8. Find solutions: Feeling helpless sparks anxiety. Finding solutions to your worries helps focus your mind on what you can control. Identify the specifi c things you’re worried about and develop a plan to address them so you can take action.
9. Defer to the future: Release the need to be across everything all the time. Sophie Scott suggests telling yourself, “I will cross that bridge when I come to it.” By deferring your worry to a future time, you give yourself breathing space, and a chance to see if your worries even happen (which often they don’t).
10. Keep a worry tracker: So much of what we worry about doesn’t happen. When I was experiencing anxiety and constantly stuck overthinking, I decided to keep a “Worry Tracker”. I noted down my worries and then the outcome. What I found was 90 per cent of the things I worried about didn’t happen, and when they did, I handled them better than I expected. Using a worry tracker helps rewire your brain, as you show it that a lot of anxiety is fear-based not reality-based.
11. Get out of your head: Overthinking moves you into your head. Shift this state by getting back into your body. Spend time in nature, go for a swim in the ocean, sit in your garden, take a stroll through your local park, do a meditation body scan, try a few minutes of deep breathing, have a shower or bath or even try baking your favourite treat.
12. Sleep: When you become sleep deprived, your amygdala (the emotional centre of your brain) becomes more sensitive to negative situations, which can make it harder to regulate your emotions and mood. Get seven to nine hours of sleep each night to keep anxiety in check, and to support your brain to work optimally.
If anxiety and overthinking is having a big impact in your life, get professional help. Working with great psychologists over the years has equipped me to better understand myself and my brain and has given me the strategies I need to rewire my brain for calm, clarity and confi dence. You can break free from overthinking by using these strategies to calm your anxiety, regulate your nervous system and gain perspective and control, so you can live a more easeful life.
Article featured in WellBeing Magazine 211
