Worry a lot? Here’s what to do

Worry is a mechanism we use when we feel unsafe. It’s our minds way of trying to keep us safe.  Worry is often very good at pointing out possible threats and the things we need to be concerned about. It is also very persuasive. How many of the things that you worry about actually happen?  Probably not a lot. This can create the illusion that what you are doing is a constructive use of our time but it’s not. Also, worry can provide a distraction from actual problem solving. This becomes a distraction because it feels like we are doing something productive. However, analysing, agonising and worrying about your problems will rarely lead to an effective solution.

What is too much worry?

When you are finding yourself worrying a lot it can become a problem. If you feel like you worry all of the time, automatically it can become a problem. It can also make you feel uncontrollable. When you feel like you cannot stop worrying it can become a problem. Perhaps you have tried to reduce your concerns and intrusive thoughts, but nothing has worked then it has become an issue. If it interferes with normal daily routines then it’s a big issue.

Take note when you have worried thoughts

A chronic worrier will find that worry happens with hardly any effort. Learning to spot these thoughts to break the habit. Worry is often triggered by “what if…” questions you ask yourself. For example, “What if I left the iron on?” When you focus on this thought, it is likely to trigger a range of other unhelpful thoughts. When you get stuck in these worry thoughts you are probably thinking up worst case scenario and blowing things out of proportion. Such as “I have chest pain… I’m having a heart attack!”

Another thing that you may find yourself doing is overgeneralising. This is when one bad thing happens and you start to have thoughts about it happening over and over again.  An example of this could be when you forget to invite someone to a party, your thoughts go straight to “I forgot to invite her to the party… I’m a bad friend.” By learning to spot these thoughts you can break the pattern.

Keep a thought journal

A thought journal is a brief record of what you were doing, thinking and feeling when you noticed yourself worrying. It is best to complete your diary each day for about a week.

Strategies to help

There is a problem when it comes to many strategies that can help you with your worry because while they are effective in the short term, they actually keep the worry going in the long term. This is because they are all forms of avoidance. Research shows that more we try to avoid difficult thoughts, the more likely we are to have them.

Some of these mental strategies that are actually thinking traps are: trying to stop thinking altogether, trying to distract or zone yourself out, when you are trying to think positively, and when you are trying to convince yourself, you’re overthinking. Some of the behavioural strategies are seeking reassurance, avoiding things that trigger worry thoughts, and using alcohol or other substances to dull the pain of worry.

Different Kinds of Worry

Worry has been defined in both negative and neutral terms. It has been described as an emotional state that often motivates behavioural responses with the aim of reducing a threat. What separates worry from general concern is both its emotional nature and the fact that it gears people up for change. It is also an emotional experience that involves unpleasant and persistent thoughts about the future.

Extreme levels of concern are often associated with poorer mental and physical health. Extreme, abstract and automatic worry is associated with generalised anxiety disorder. When you are worrying about lots of different concerns it is more likely to be unhelpful and problematic than having a specific concern. However, on a more moderate note sometimes it can be useful. An example if this is if you live in an area that is prone to robberies, you are likely to have constructive worry. This means you will most likely look at putting in cameras or an alarm. Most worry is future-focused, so it can be adapted for positive action in some cases.

Are there good reasons for worry?

By worrying about something, you are more likely to think of reasons to take action and be motivated to do something. Worry acts as a reminder for you to do things and worry can involve effective preparation, planning and problem-solving. There is a relationship between worry and helpfulness. Too little worry and you’re not motivated enough. Too much, and you’re paralysed. Of course, many people may be worried for good reasons. Often it’s about forces they can’t control. In these situations, understanding that worry can do nothing is a good way to defuse it.

If you are constantly worried and have intrusive thinking it’s a good idea to consult a counsellor, NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist or other natural mental health therapist who can assist you to take control of your negative thinking and worries and help you get a new perspective on your life. (Pic thanks to Sarah Pflug)