Some family members just click, while the dynamics between others can be strained and tempestuous. You may not be able to change the personality traits of an overbearing sister, pernickety mother or that relative who always succeeds in rubbing you the wrong way, but understanding what drives them, at least astrologically, can help create tolerance.

The elements and modalities are two astrological factors that, apart from individual signs and planet placements, play a significant role in family dynamics. You can consider the element and modality of a family member’s sun sign or, if you know it, their Moon sign, too.

Elements

The first subgroup to explore is the elements, of which there are four: fire, earth, air and water. The signs belonging to these groups share the characteristics of each element. Elements influence temperament and motivation.

Fire: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

As the element suggests, fire signs are a great source of warmth and light, but they can be volatile. Exuberant, passionate and motivated, fire signs are the “doers” of the zodiac. They prefer to take initiative rather than wait for life to happen. Blessed with confident, dynamic personalities, they have a natural talent for boosting morale and getting things done, particularly in a group capacity. Fire signs are usually the impetus behind family decisions and actions.

From an assertive Aries to a charismatic Leo or exuberant Sagittarius, fire signs are the extroverts of the zodiac. They are the first to make an introduction or conquer new ground. While their enthusiasm is infectious, their zealous behaviour can, inadvertently or not, make them bossy and overbearing.

Passionate fire signs also enjoy drama and, in the absence of excitement, will go out of their way to create some. Having such an intrepid nature means fire signs like to take risks, which can compel them to rush in without giving much thought to their actions. Similarly, fire signs can speak without thinking. While they can always be counted on for an honest opinion, sometimes their delivery is overly direct. However, amid the tactlessness, impatience and at times impetuous behaviour, fire signs have an admirable lust for life, generosity of spirit and fierce loyalty.

 

Earth: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Earth signs, like their physical element, are down to earth, grounded and modest. Pragmatic and somewhat conservative, they need structure and routine in order to feel safe. Whether a practical Taurus, analytical Virgo or determined Capricorn, earth signs approach life with caution and careful planning.

Family members of the same elements usually have an easier time relating, simply because there’s an intrinsic understanding of each other.

Unlike spontaneous fire and air, earth signs dislike surprises or being put on the spot. Nor are they overly fond of change. Earth signs tend to be organised, preferring the familiar confines of their safety zone to the unknown. Patient, calm and steadfast, they are as reliable as a Swiss watch. Earth signs provide a voice of reason and are a veritable Rock of Gibraltar, which is why loved ones turn to them during a crisis. However, their poised nature sometimes makes it difficult to gauge their emotions or prompt them to divulge their thoughts and feelings.

Although earth is the element associated with materialism, it usually doesn’t manifest in a superficial way. Yes, earth signs have sophisticated tastes, but they loathe ostentation. Emotional stability is just as paramount as financial peace of mind, so they strive to create a comfortable existence free of money worries or drama. Earth signs are sensual and tactile, and while they may not be saccharine they’re highly sentimental and affectionate in their own genuine way.

Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Like air, these folk are always shifting, changing and evolving. A state of flux may unnerve some, but to inquisitive air signs movement is a chance for growth and exploration. Independent, spontaneous and open-minded, air signs dislike restrictions. They love the chance to broaden their horizons, literally as well as metaphorically, through new people, experiences and places. This isn’t just a passion — understanding their surroundings helps an air sign make sense of their existence.

As the element associated with intellect and logic, air signs rely heavily on reason. This innate objectivity enables them to make fair appraisals. It also means they intellectualise their feelings and can thus appear emotionally detached. An air sign’s need for perpetual mental stimulation also makes them restless.

Disarming Aquarians, vivacious Librans and sunny Geminis are all blessed with outgoing and naturally expressive personalities. They are highly sociable as well as good communicators. Air signs enjoy company and make the most of any opportunity to gain knowledge and exchange ideas through hearty, interesting conversation. They are impartial by nature. Since they aren’t ruled by their emotions, air signs often take on the role of family mediator. Having an upbeat disposition means air signs are also great at diffusing tense situations. Their optimistic take on life rarely fails to lift the spirits of loved ones.

 

Water: Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces

Turbulent ocean, flowing stream or deep well — water reflects the many states of the signs belonging to this element. Emotional and intuitive, water signs rely on instinct rather than logic. They are acutely aware of the feelings, thoughts and pain of others. Water signs are extremely sympathetic and will often put others’ needs ahead of their own, which can manifest as martyrdom, particularly among parents.

Water signs have immense insight into human nature, so trying to hide something from them is futile. Water-sign mothers often know their children inside out and have remarkable built-in sensors that automatically detect when they are troubled. Similarly, even the youngest water-sign child will pick up on the slightest bit of tension and instinctively be more gentle and affectionate when a parent or sibling is upset.

Water signs can always be counted on for emotional support, sound advice and a sympathetic ear. However, they can become irritated when others aren’t sensitive to their own needs or aware that they are upset. Given that their self-expression is quite subtle, truly knowing a water sign takes a lengthy learning process, however worthwhile.

Whether a nurturing Cancer, intense Scorpio or a perceptive Pisces, water signs don’t have a lot about them that’s frivolous. While water signs can be unpredictably moody, they are also playful, affectionate and humorous.

Birds of a feather

Family members of the same elements usually have an easier time relating, simply because there’s an intrinsic understanding of each other. Air-sign family members often share a quirky sense of humour, an upbeat temperament and curiosity. A Gemini parent will relish answering the probing questions of an Aquarian child and fostering their inquisitive mind. There’s bound to be plenty of laughter, mischief and chatter between air-sign parents and amid siblings.

The environment between two grounded earth signs is also relatively effortless. A Capricorn parent and Taurus child will revel in each other’s company without the need for too much verbal communication, and there’s likely to be less squabbling among earth siblings.

When it comes to water signs or fire signs, emotions can run high. While there’s a tacit understanding between water signs and their wonderful ability to intuit each other’s needs, they are prone to sulky stand-offs. A Scorpio might become annoyed by Pisces’ heightened sensitivity; Pisces may find Cancer overbearing while Cancer will battle with a Scorpio’s intensity and lack of communication.

On a good day, life is one big adventure for passionate, enthusiastic and big-hearted fire signs. However, when an opinionated Sagittarius, straightforward Aries or feisty Leo disagree, there’s likely to be pyrotechnics and not the New Year’s Eve variety. As long as there’s compromise and an effort to avoid bad behavioural patterns, the pros usually outweigh the cons.

 

How the elements get along

Air and fire

These elements traditionally share an easy connection. Both are spirited, fun-loving and outgoing and this combination usually spells excitement, mischief and motion. With fire instilling determination and confidence, a Leo, for example, will encourage a Libran to have faith in their abilities.

Air, in turn, knows how to handle the volatile nature of fire signs, which is why a cool Aquarian can keep an Aries in line while avoiding a heated exchange. Occasionally, fire may feel that air is too aloof, while air can find fire’s passionate temperament overwhelming. Even though the two go about life differently, they easily relate.

Earth and water

In nature, water and earth mutually benefit each other and so the relationship between these family members is usually strong and effortless. Earth signs have the patience to cope with the moods and complexities of water. Water, in turn, provides emotional support and a comfortable environment for earth signs to air their feelings.

However, a Taurus, for example, may become irritated by a Scorpio’s sensitivity while a Pisces will see a Virgo as being too uptight, but the cons are minimal. Water signs compel earth to be more perceptive and compassionate, while earth provides water with stability and calm.

Fire and water

Fire and water make steam! Both are passionate and prone to volatile, erratic behaviour but the similarities end there. A fire sign can be confused by the enigmatic nature of water while their larger-than-life disposition sometimes proves exhausting to water.

An Aries parent may become frustrated with a touchy Cancer child, while a Scorpio child can be overwhelmed by the magnitude of a Sagittarian parent’s personality. However, fire signs uplift water with their playful attitude and instil them with confidence. Water signs reciprocate with a mellowing influence and teach fire to be more empathetic and selfless.

Air and earth

Both share a droll sense of humour, delicate sensibilities and distaste for drama. However, practical earth can find air’s unpredictable nature and frenetic energy trying. Air, meanwhile, thinks earth is rigid and finds their measured pace excruciating.

Fixed and mutable signs have very different approaches to life — one goes with the flow while the other cements themselves to the spot.

Air lives in a world of ideas whereas earth Deals with the tangible, so an inventive Aquarian will see constructive criticism from a pragmatic Taurus parent as raining on their parade. Conversely, a Virgo child can become unsettled by a Libran parent’s indecisiveness. However, earth signs can teach air signs the value of commitment while air can encourage earth to be more spontaneous.

 

Fire and earth

These two are opposite elements, so family relationships between these signs are bound to come with challenges. A fire sign’s spontaneous attitude is diametrically at odds with earth’s cautious approach. An adventurous Sagittarius child may feel stifled by a play-it-safe Virgo parent. Similarly, a measured Taurus child will resent being rushed by a gung-ho Aries parent.

There are, however, plenty of bonuses. A fire sign’s joie de vivre encourages an earth sign to embrace new experiences and welcome rather than fear the unknown. Centred earth signs can provide a stable environment and help fire to fulfil their potential by teaching consistency, patience and focus.

Air and water

Air and water are opposite elements. Air signs tend to be logical and verbal whereas water is intuitive and emotive, so there’s usually extra effort involved in these family relationships. A Scorpio parent can be intolerant of a Gemini child’s chatter. Similarly, an Aquarius won’t relate to the sentimental nature of a Cancer.

However, these family members can have a beneficial and balancing influence on each other. Air signs can teach water to experience life without being bogged down by their emotions. Water, in turn, can encourage air to be emotionally expressive rather than objectify their feelings.

Modalities

The modalities further characterise and add dimension to the dynamics and compatibility of Sun signs. This group consists of three subdivisions: cardinal, fixed and mutable. Each subdivision contains four signs. The modalities describe your attitude towards life, approach to situations and modus operandi.

Cardinal: Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn

Enterprising and action-oriented, cardinal signs are born leaders. They like to take initiative and are unafraid to test their abilities even if it means they may not initially succeed.

Cardinal signs are great team players provided they’re at the helm. Yes, they can be very domineering, particularly go-getting fire-sign Aries. Rams are, however, intrepid, loyal and great trouble-shooters. Air-sign Librans are the least dominating and tend to charm their way into executive family positions, as they are diplomatic and good listeners. Water-sign Cancers are more inclined to use subtle suggestion rather than brute force but can be bossy when their emotions take over. Productive and driven, earth sign Capricorns simply get on with it, so the role of leader is relegated to them without anyone really noticing.

Cardinal parents relish the responsibility of being head of the family and take their role very seriously. However, their good intentions can often repel other family members who feel coerced into doing something they don’t want to, whether it’s participating in a game of Scrabble or burying the hatchet with a relative. At the end of the day, though, they are the glue that binds the family and their well-meaning efforts are usually appreciated.

 

Fixed: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius

Fixed are, well, fixed. They are set in their ways and like things to be consistent. This can make them incredibly stubborn and unwilling to listen to advice. They dislike taking risks, mainly due to fear of failure, but they have immense patience and perseverance, so once they have a target they won’t stop until they fulfil their objectives.

Earthy Taureans like to do things at their own pace, labouring long and hard to see the end result of their toil. Fire-sign Leos are very creative and don’t mind new experiences as long as they are prepared so they can make an optimal impact. Watery Scorpios have immense resilience and stamina, which allows them to weather the fiercest storms and see things through to the bitter end. With their love of anything novel and loathing of conformity, Aquarians seem an unlikely candidate. However, while they themselves may be erratic they like everything around them to be consistent.

Fixed signs are the backbone of the family and while they can be unyielding and stagnant, they are the most dependable. Loyal, dedicated and diligent, fixed signs will do whatever it takes to create a stable environment for their family.

Mutable: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces

The signs of this subgroup are so named because they are extremely versatile. Mutable signs welcome change, seeing it as an opportunity to gain knowledge and experience. Their inherent flexibility and chameleon-like nature allow them to adjust to any situation. They are also the most accommodating, obliging and compromising of the modalities.

Air-sign Gemini is highly communicative. They effortlessly strike up conversations and express themselves with wit and eloquence. Earth sign Virgo is pragmatic and organised. They like routine but will go with the flow when need be. Fire-sign Sagittarians are optimistic, energetic and can always be counted on to boost spirits. Water-sign Pisceans are intuitive and use their heightened perception to sense situations and adapt accordingly.

While mutable signs are experts at acclimatising, they typically take the path of least resistance. Mutable signs are known as team players, not chiefs. Ironically, they lead the way when it comes to change by showing loved ones not to fear new developments. While mutable signs dislike conflict they have the ability to see all sides of a story, which is why mutables are the ones to mediate clan differences and keep things flowing smoothly.

 

Modality dynamics

When it comes to modality combinations, one isn’t necessarily easier than the other — there are pros and cons for each. Being so focused and ambitious, cardinal signs may find mutable signs too easy-going and lacking in direction. In return, mutable signs may view cardinal signs as bossy and, at times, full of bravado. However, a mutable Pisces could teach a cardinal Capricorn to relinquish control and lighten up, while cardinal Aries can succeed in getting mutable Virgo to move forward and focus on the end result rather than getting bogged down in details.

Cardinal and fixed signs are likely to lock horns over change. The stubbornness of a fixed sign means it’s likely they will cut off their nose to spite their face. If cardinal Cancer has a sound suggestion or new way of doing something, a fixed Leo will dig their heels in if the Cancer gets pushy. However, once cardinal backs off and makes fixed feel needed, their vision and stamina can complement each other perfectly.

Fixed and mutable signs have very different approaches to life — one goes with the flow while the other cements themselves to the spot. Thus, mutable Sagittarius is likely to be disappointed by a fixed Taurean’s inability to see the possibilities provided by change and chance. Meanwhile, fixed Scorpio will be frustrated by mutable Gemini’s inability to commit or mutable Pisces’ lack of endurance. However, a fixed sign can provide a mutable sign with a stable point of reference so they don’t get too carried away. Mutable signs can show fixed signs the merit in letting go and being open to possibilities.

With two mutable signs there’ll be less motivation and a degree of disorganisation. However, if they work as a team and assign each other roles and tasks, they can make amazing progress. Two fixed signs are likely to show a similar lack of progress, not through dampened motivation but rather as a result of an unwillingness to change. However, when you two fixed signs work towards a common goal their immense stamina makes them unstoppable. More than one cardinal sign will often vie for supremacy, but if they capitalise on their respective strengths and support, and avoid steamrolling each other, they make a formidable team.