Relationship wrangling

Research reveals a healthy way to deal with relationship conflict.

Relationships can be wonderful things but they aren’t always smooth sailing. There will inevitably be moments of conflict in any relationship whether it be over where you squeeze the toothpaste tube or whether you should buy that house. A healthy relationship is not one without conflict it is one that Deals with conflict well. Now a new study has found one strategy that can help all couples in dealing with those moments of conflict.

In the new study subjects who were part of a couple were asked to separately reflect on a recent conflict with their partner (romantic partner or close friend). Half of the subjects were then asked to describe how they would feel about the relationship one year in the future while the other half were asked to describe how they felt in the present.

The written responses were analysed for their use of pronouns such as I, me, he, and she as well as their attitude toward the conflict.

It emerged that when the subjects had thought about the relationship one year into the future they showed more positivity about the relationship, showed more forgiveness, and were more likely to have reinterpreted the conflict in a positive light.

It’s all about perspective really and thinking about the future of the relationship can make what seems like an insurmountable disagreement now just a momentary blip in something of real value. Living in the now is important but sometimes you have to think about the future in order to see what’s happening now is all about.

Source: Social Psychological and Personality Science