There’s no ‘I’ in team, or is there…?
It has been the strangest couple of weeks for me and a complete emotional rollercoaster. I’m feeling great healthwise however every now and again the enormity of what I am trying to work through really hits home.
The most frequent comment I hear from people whether they be known or complete strangers is ‘I don’t know how you are doing this all on your own.’
Well, to be quite honest sometimes neither do I. Not too often fortunately, I have hit the wall emotionally and would love to put my brain on a shelf somewhere and come back to it in a week or so. There are days when I wish someone else would take care of me even just for a day.
Isolation is definitely the ‘I’ in Team! Whilst there are amazing supporters in the practitioners, therapists, family and friends no one can truly understand the feeling of isolation that comes with dealing with cancer.
My choice to treat this naturally has also left me more on the outer as there are way fewer people on the natural treatment path for cancer. As I think I mentioned in my last blog taking 100% responsibility for every treatment choice and its implementation is exhausting mentally and emotionally.
How am I coping? Well my friends laugh that I call myself ‘pathologically optimistic’ and I truly believe one needs to be in order to win the cancer battle. Self nurturing is also a key factor, regular massages, beauty treatments and making the effort for appearances helps to stay mentally strong.
Fortunately the down times have been a rare occurance rather than the norm however they are not pleasant. When the depression aspect kicks in there is a part of me that feels lost, unattractive like there is something not right about me and even to look at other people and wish to be happy and healthy again like them.
Some nights I have even cried myself to sleep wishing for it all to be over and never have to feel the lump in my breast again.
In one of my first blogs I talked about Emotions being the missing link in cancer treatment. Well I have left no stone unturned when it comes to working through and clearing all the negative emotions of the past.
Unfortunately this means sifting through those ‘icky’ skeletons in the closet and letting go of all those locked in feelings and emotions.
Some of these processes are also about changing belief systems and behavioural patterns that have been in place since early childhood. Wow! that is a lot of stuff.
I learned whilst attending a program several years ago that 90% of what goes on in our lives is determined by the subconscious mind. This means it is only the 10% that is the conscious mind. We go to huge lengths to try and change this 10% when really it is the 90% that is determining the outcome. No wonder it doesn’t work!
There are many therapies that delve into these areas such as Lifeline Technique which looks at physical symptoms, emotional triggers and spiritual issues at a subconscious level.
The one thing that does keep me going is that I have always viewed my cancer experience as a blessing and an opportunity to help many other women in the future heal from cancer whilst keeping their bodies and minds in tact.
As a nutritionist there is much more information I am wanting to impart however this emotional aspect of my healing I feel is very important to share with you.
Health and Happiness,
Helen
