10 acts of self-love

Loving yourself is not something you feel but something you do. Self-love is not only a powerful concept but a daily practice, a way of life, a call to action. It means doing things that nurture your body, mind and spirit. It means honouring your highest self in your everyday life. If you can’t find time in your day to love yourself, if your life is crammed so full of other commitments that there’s no time left for you, then something is out of balance.

The good news is that you can turn things around immediately with very little time and effort. When it comes to loving yourself, little things count. In fact, incorporating a few small, loving actions into your daily routine is one of the most effective ways to practice self-love. Here are 10 simple, loving actions to get you started.

1. Move your body

You only have to look at young children to see that our bodies are made to move. Your body longs to move, too, and making physical action part of your day is a perfect way to love yourself. Not only does physical action have mental and physical benefits but it also grounds you and opens your heart so you’re better able to hear and feel your spirit.

A daily exercise routine is one way to get your body active but there are many other ways to keep your body moving throughout the day. For example:

• Go for a soul stroll. Opt for a gentle walk through a park, along a river or any other place that is beautiful to you. Enjoy the fresh air, appreciate your surroundings and relax. Even 15 minutes will lift your spirit, clear your mind and give you a boost of energy.


• Put on a favourite CD and dance around to a couple of tracks. Lock your door, close the curtains, sing your heart out and have some fun.


• When you’re with young children at the park or recreation area, play! See how high you can go on the swing, join in a game of soccer or teach one of your favourite childhood games.

2. Appreciate and acknowledge yourself

Most of us find it easy to judge and criticise ourselves but how often do we acknowledge and appreciate all the great things we do? Everyone loves to receive positive feedback, to know that they are noticed and valued for who they are and what they do. You are the just the same. Don’t wait for other people to notice you; start acknowledging yourself.

One way to do this is to keep an acknowledgment journal by your bed and, before you go to sleep at night, write down three things from the day that you are proud of, grateful for or feel pleased about. It might be an accomplishment at work, the way you handled an issue with your children, your workout at the gym, giving yourself the early night you’ve been wanting all week, the nutritious dinner you made …

An alternative to keeping an acknowledgment journal is to run through the day in your mind as you lie down to sleep at night and mentally acknowledge yourself for all the things you did well and all the things you appreciate about yourself.

3. Lighten up and laugh

We take ourselves and our lives far too seriously sometimes. Sure, there are important things to deal with and challenging times in life, but often what we need to do is simply lighten up. One way to do that is to laugh. Take a moment to think about who or what makes you laugh. Is it animal antics, comedians, cartoons, a certain friend, jokes, games, a TV show, hearing a funny story or playing around with your partner, children or pets? Think about your sense of humour and what makes you smile. Make a conscious effort to do something every day that invites laughter into your life.

4. Visualise your heart’s desires

What better way to love yourself than to spend some time every day consciously creating a life that makes your soul sing? Do you know what you really want? Can you describe the life your heart longs to live? The clearer you are about what you want, the more chance you have of creating it. There are many books and resources around that teach visualisation and manifestation techniques. Try a few different ones and see what works best for you. Some common techniques include making a vision board, affirmations, visualisation, ideal-day scripts and meditations for manifesting. Whichever tool you use, the key is to know what you want and spend a few minutes every day focusing on your dreams and the life you desire.

5. Step towards a heartfelt dream

It’s essential to know what you want but wanting something is not enough. You must be willing to take action. You must be willing to do the work, to follow your intuitive guidance and take some risks if you intend to turn your dreams into reality. I love the phrase, “The universe will meet you halfway,” but I like to add, “and you have to do your half first.”

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that big dreams require big actions. Most of the time, what stops us from realising our dreams is our unwillingness to do the little things: a five-minute phone call, proof-reading a final draft, requesting an information package, 30 minutes of daily practice or arranging an important meeting. Don’t let the size of your dream or your fears stop you. Commit to your desire then take one tiny step and then another and then another, and so on.

Every time you do something on your own behalf you show the universe and yourself you’re serious about your desires. In addition, every time you take action you gain momentum, information and clarity. No action is ever wasted. Be willing to take a risk and do something every day that moves you closer to your heart’s desire.

6. Do something fun

Life is as much fun as you decide to make it. Don’t wait for weekends or holidays to give yourself permission to enjoy your life; invite joy into your life every day. In the morning when you wake up ask, yourself the following question: “What could I do today that would be fun for me?” Wait for the answer to present itself and, as the day unfolds, it will. When the idea comes into your head to go and feed the ducks at lunch time or climb into bed after dinner with a novel or sign up for a new course or whisk your partner into the bedroom in the middle of the afternoon, do it!

7. Be kind to yourself

Whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re constantly talking to yourself in your head. When you love and accept yourself, your thoughts are generally positive and affirming. But if you’re like many people, the voice inside your head is an unrelenting inner critic, pointing out what you’ve done wrong, making judgments and telling you how unworthy you are.

What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror or think about your body? What thoughts run through your mind when you make a mistake? How do you speak to yourself when things aren’t going well? You probably say things to yourself that you wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else.

Start paying attention to the way you talk about yourself inside your head and in your conversations with others. When you notice yourself being unkind, stop. Cut yourself off mid-sentence if you have to and if you can’t turn what you were saying into something more positive, change the subject.

8. Enhance your environment

Feeling good in the places and spaces where you spend a lot of time is a great way to love yourself. Make an effort to enhance your environment so that it’s appealing to you. For example, if you work at a desk you could enhance your space with:

• The desktop background on your computer.


• Wall/desk calendars.


• Plants or fresh flowers.


• Photos of your children, pets or loved ones.


• A meaningful gift, object or card that makes you feel wonderful or loved every time you look at it.


• Quotes, affirmations or jokes on post-it notes.


• Scented candles (you don’t have to light them to enjoy them).
  When you add to, improve or simply maintain your surroundings so that they’re pleasing to you, you send yourself the message, “I know what makes you feel good and that’s important to me.”

9. Spend time with yourself

To love yourself you have to know yourself and that means you need to spend some time alone. When you’re around other people you are influenced by their energy, thoughts, feelings, needs and sometimes their expectations of you. But when no one else is around and there’s no demands being placed on you, you can do something very important: listen. You can listen to your heart and pay attention to what is really going on inside you.

However, being by yourself is not enough. If the TV is on or you’re reading a book or scheming about a project or rehashing a bad experience over and over in your mind, you still won’t hear your heart or feel your feelings. You need to find something that quiets your mind and allows you to go deeper into yourself. You could write in a feelings journal, meditate, do breathing or relaxation exercises, or you could simply declare a certain time of the day “me time” where you open your heart and be truly present to yourself as you fold the washing, take a bath, go for walk, drive home from work, make dinner or work on a fun project. The key is to make time every day to slow down, pay attention and listen to the truth inside you.

10. Live!

Yes, you have responsibilities, commitments and things that you need to do, but don’t forget that life is for living. Don’t cram so much into your day that there’s no room for spontaneity. Don’t be so rigid in your routines and schedules that there’s no time left to play or seize magic moments.

Live your life on purpose with intentions and goals for the future, but also remember that life is lived in the present moment. It’s happening right now, right where you are. Enjoy it, love it, live it.

The world isn’t going to stop and make time for you to love yourself; you have to take the time. If you’re serious about loving yourself, you’ll give yourself the gift of time — every day. It’s not enough to say loving affirmations and think positive thoughts. That’s a start, but love is a verb. It’s an action. If you want to see how much you love yourself, don’t think about how you feel — look at what you do. You’re either taking daily action to love yourself or you’re not. It’s that clear.

You know which activities enhance your life and which ones don’t. You know which actions move you closer to the person you want to be and the life you want to live. The question is, are you doing them?

If the answer is “no”, it’s time to ask yourself if you’re ready to commit to loving yourself in a more practical way. If you are ready, you’ll find the time and the way to make self-love part of your daily routine. You deserve to be loved. You need to be loved. Start today.