Relationships are complex things and in the hurly burly of life it is easy to sublimate what you really feel for your significant other just to get by on a daily basis. It is easy to become ships that pass in the night, or even the day, but if you want a fulfilling relationship then taking your partner for granted is not part of the recipe. On the contrary, showing your partner some gratitude and appreciation can go a long way as has been shown in a new study.
=Q=
The researchers in the new study began by noting that when couples are under financial pressure and are finding it difficult to make ends meet, then they are more likely to interact in negative ways. A typical negative interaction in these circumstances is known as demand/withdrawal, where one partner makes demands (or nags) and the other withdraws or becomes defensive. This can become a negative spiral.
In the study the researchers asked 468 married people questions about their financial situation, the degree of demand/withdrawal in their relationship, and expressions of gratitude with their partner. Gratitude was measured in terms of the degree to which individuals felt appreciated by their spouse, valued by their spouse, and acknowledged when they did something nice for their spouse.
The single greatest predictor of marital quality was the expression of spousal gratitude. Indeed, the expression of gratitude (if genuinely felt) was able to interrupt the cycle of negativity that financial stress can precipitate ad end a demand/withdrawal cycle. Higher levels of spousal gratitude expression reduced men and women’s divorce proneness as well as improving women’s marital commitment when there was poor communication during negative times.
It is part of living life together that disagreements will arise but if you are experiencing some difficult relationship times it might be worth taking a moment to appreciate your spouse and express your gratitude. As the researchers say, what distinguishes the relationships that last is how the people in the relationship treat each other on a daily basis.
