One of the most important things I learned is that a natural birth is not about bravery awards. It’s about massaging the baby’s breathing to life through the birth canal and its about using natural hormones to handle pain.
I was 30 years old and 30 weeks pregnant with my baby boy when I went on a pregnancy retreat in Byron Bay. I arrived in Byron armed with a defensive attitude thinking ‘no hippy is going to talk me out of a medicated birth’. I held a lot of fear about the pain of birth, which I think I had developed from hearing so many childbirth horror stories. This baggage didn’t come from my mum. She had always said that I slipped out like a wet fish. My plan was to have an early epidural (with no idea what this really was) and to have a medically managed birth with as little pain or discomfort as possible.
During the weekend I learned all about the birthing process and the interventions used in our hospitals, how women have the power to birth and how it can be a beautiful experience. I also learned about doulas and how they can have a potent impact on childbirth.
The six expectant women on retreat came from different places and backgrounds and were equally respected and encouraged by the retreat hosts on our separate paths to birthing. We practiced yoga in the mornings, then went on a long walk on the beach which was followed by an organic breakfast. We then spent time sharing our thoughts and fears in a circle of women and learned volumes about childbirth.
One of the most important things I learned is that a natural birth is not about bravery awards. It’s about massaging the baby’s breathing to life through the birth canal and its about using natural hormones to handle pain. It’s about bouncing back after birth with a hot shower and big long cuddle in bed as a family for the most gorgeous hours of your life. It’s about what’s best for the mother and child. I also learned about the cascade of interventions and their consequences. Hoorah for medical intervention when we need it, but I learned some very good reasons for why it shouldn’t be the first option for a healthy mother and babe.
Sue and Jannine, our hosts on pregnancy retreat, shared with us their experiences and let me decide on the birth I wanted for myself. They weren’t trying to influence my opinion of a medicated birth (if they had I think I would have run a mile), they just shared their experiences and told us some wonderful birth stories. I had never heard a positive birth story before meeting Sue and Jannine.
The retreat turned out to be so much more than I had expected. I knew it would be luxurious, in beautiful surroundings, with delicious food and lovely accommodation. I also knew I would just love the massages, facials and manicures that we were treated to. I’m into yoga so I enjoyed that too and relished the time spent on visualisations and connecting with the baby in my belly. What I didn’t expect is to be treated with such genuine love and warmth by our retreat hosts. They provided an environment where we could talk about our fears without feeling judged and learn about the process of birthing with power.
We were also offered some gorgeous elective activities like belly painting and hypnobirthing. I had a nude photo session on the beach with a local photographer – my first experience with public nudity!
After retreat, I came home and found a doula and prepared myself for the birth without any fear at all – I was actually looking forward to it. I had a great birth with my son, Hudson. No intervention, no medical management and no horror story. I had a long but gentle labour with only the last three hours being intense with my gorgeous husband Bruce and my beautiful doula by my side. It was hard physical work birthing a nine-pound baby boy but an amazing day in my life and worth every contraction!
A few months after becoming a mother I began training as a doula myself and soon after www.yourbirth.org was born – a website for women looking for childbirth support in the Sydney area. I love being a doula. It is an honour to be invited to be part of such an intimate occasion in a family’s life and I relive Hudson’s birth every time. The pregnancy retreat certainly changed me from fearing birth to relishing it.
Lucy participated in the Byron Pregnancy Retreat. For more information e: pregnancyretreat@natureschild.com.au or t: 02-66855780.
