I was about to complete my blog on Estrogen and the very big part it plays in breast cancer when a flood of emotions washed over me and the little voice said ‘you know what lets get back to the human side of cancer for a minute’.
Life has become pretty intense since my diagnosis in August 2010. What to eat?, what not to eat?, what treatments to choose?, what will work?, what will not work?,
Must sleep early, must not drink alcohol, must not consume sugars, must not eat dairy, Grocery shopping for organics, meal preparation; so I know what all of the ingredients are. What time is my acupuncture?, detox treatment, massage, blood tests, when will I go for another scan, which suppliment to take and when?
Not to mention trying to keep enough work coming in to support all of these efforts. I have averaged it out that 15-20 hours per week is spent attending to all of the above.
It has only recently dawned on me that these issues mull around in my head constantly. Although meditation is a valuable tool for slowing the mind chatter, let me tell you that every single day for 10 months I have contemplated all of the above.
I sometimes feel like a little holiday from myself!
Some dear girlfriends of mine recently decided that I needed a night out. After attending a friends birthday party and allowing myself a glass of wine they decided to take me out for a bit of a dance. Another couple of drinks later I was on the dance floor (just like old times), laughing away and not a worry in the world.
In my quest to beat this cancer I had forgotten what it was like to have a little fun. Until Sunday morning… I awoke with the thoughts of I hope this has not set me back? I hope it was okay to have a couple of drinks?, the internal dialogue drove me mad for a good few hours until I finally got my head around the fact that no one said any where in any of my treatment protocols that you cannot have any fun.
I recall a conversation I had with Jim Stynes the ex- AFL Melbourne Football Club player last December who has been on his own amazing healing journey from cancer. He said ‘don’t you sometimes get over it and need to break out?’
After all we are still human and have the same life stresses and responsibilities as everyone else, we’ve just added saving our lives to the mix.
Another girlfriend has taken me Indoor rock climbing and when the whether permits I will take myself off for some Kiteboarding. This is where friends definitely have a role to play in our healing. Friends make us laugh and help to lighten the emotional load from the vigilance I have just been describing. Friends remind us that we are not alone.
Movies and dinners at some of the wonderful organic, vegan and slow food cafes are great ways to get out of the house and socialise whilst nourishing the body. I travel frequently for work and I must say Lisa Dempster has made this a much easier task in her 2011 Australian Veg Food Guide
It is quite amazing that we can become so focused on a task to the exclusion of all else. I am now reminding myself to lighten up as after all no one has ever died from laughter.
Wishing you all a wonderful week and don’t forget the FUN !!
Oh, and to my dear friends Thank you for your support and all that you do, although the homemade Macarons are definitely pushing the boundary 🙂
