Ageing is imminent; we will all get older. But that does not mean we need to be sick, incapacitated or inactive. We are led to believe that health becomes an issue as we age. This does not need to be the case but, unfortunately, we live in a world where we have manifested this to be true to some extent. As a society, we need to change our perspective from one in which we automatically associate ageing with illness to one where we’re empowered to care for our own health and healing.
Alison was 87 with failing health and heart issues. She had diabetes and high blood pressure and this was her second heart attack. Alison also had had a stroke. Her mind wasn’t what it used to be. She couldn’t think properly to get the words out and became slow. She couldn’t walk three kilometres anymore, as she had just two years ago, and wasn’t too steady on her feet. She was not handling ageing well.
Alison had survived two wars. She had been a refugee and had started a whole new life in a different country that finally gave her shelter. She had been a prisoner and escaped. She had been a brave lady with two children and worked all her life with her husband in the shop. She loved her grandchildren dearly: she had babysat them through their younger years while mum and dad worked. One really active lady. When her husband died, she took over the shop and put a manager in and supervised him. Then she sold the business and retired as she knew she was ageing and not the same. One really cluey, active lady.
Alison was in my office in tears. She had been dismissed from the hospital under her daughter’s care. She had put herself on a bus and come to see me as she no longer had a licence. There was still some spunk there from a once really vibrant woman. She was mortified. She had been assessed as requiring high-level care in the hospital. She lived on the third floor of a block of units. Her daughter was in a flat nearby. She was told she could no longer live alone, not with all those stairs and no lift, and had to move. This is the law now to protect the ageing. There are many laws people are not perhaps aware of that have been put in place to protect the ageing population. Often ageing people are too proud to ask for help and live with piles of dishes, light bulbs not changed and rubbish not put out for the garbage man as it is too much for them.
John turned up at my office in a state. John was 50. John was handicapped due to anxiety and stress and had been diagnosed with a serious anxiety/stress disorder. John lived alone. He had no family who wanted to know him; he was a grouchy man and had alienated them. He was in pain. He neglected his diet and had been a heavy drinker and smoker. He still smoked but had given up the drinking. John lived in a housing block of units with neighbours he didn’t really like. John was angry at the world. All his dreams as a young man had been destroyed and he blamed everyone … except himself. He had an immunity disorder, some arthritis, a hearing disorder and had never really been able to work. John was neglected and had neglected himself. John was ageing rapidly and couldn’t cope.
=Q=
Jenny slowly walked in to see me one April day. Her steps were slow, her clothes shabby. She sat down and looked at me with a blank stare. Her mum was so ill and Jenny couldn’t help her anymore. Jenny herself was 60 and ageing fast. Jenny had heart disease, high blood pressure, cholesterol and severe depression. She had looked after her mum for 10 years as her carer; gave up the career she had fought for all her life because she loved mum so much and there was no other family. But now Jenny was all given out. She could not cope with her mum’s ageing. She needed an operation and Mum didn’t understand. Mum had dementia and was 96. Mum refused to go into a home. Mum refused respite. Jenny had no husband or partner. They were long gone. Her daughter lived in England and she seldom heard from her and the rest of the family was not interested enough to care.
These are sad stories indeed, all involving ageing people. Sad for them, sad for their families. What can we do as a society to remedy this? There needs to be a lot of changes and unfortunately they won’t happen overnight.
Firstly, as younger adults we need to look after ourselves, take care of our own Health so we don’t become so sick. Ageing and illness do not have to go hand in hand. We have all heard stories about the 90-year-old yoga teacher who is still nimble and teaching classes, of the 72-year-old lady who parachutes, of the 65-year-old dancer still dancing, the man still walking 3km a day at 85. The question is, what is their secret? What is the difference between them and poor ageing nana sitting in the nursing home filled with aches and pains? Is it diet? Is it lifestyle? Is it having an easier life? Is it having a harder life that toughened them up? Is it having enough love, nurturing and family around? What is it? Unfortunately there is no one thing that makes these ageing people active and relatively healthy.
We each have our own journey and we need to tune in to what we need. Ageing with dignity becomes important. We have no choice about ageing but we do have a choice in how we do it. If right now we each become empowered for our health and take responsibility for our healing, our world can change relatively quickly. I have seen people move from illness to health in a matter of just months. It’s time to realise there are no magic wands and that caring for your healing and health is your responsibility. There are many ways to get healthy and all of them involve change. Unfortunately, we humans are not too fond of change. It means moving from your comfort zone into an unknown which may or may not be better. Remember, though, that if it is not better you can still change again. It is always in your power.
What needs to change for you? Do you need to eat better, exercise more, laugh more, rest more, go on holiday more, be more productive, take some supplements, learn to de-stress and meditate? What do you need to get healthy? Why not take action right now to do just one thing that will help? Do you need to see someone to give you new input? Learn something new? Then, when one thing is done, do one more thing … and one more … and so on.
The same goes for people who are ageing and ill. Take your doctor’s medication. Take some natural supplements. Do what you can. Work as a team with those who love you to help them look after you. Yes, it means things may have to change, but these people are all trying to help you so work with them. Let’s make a future where society sees good health as normal; a society where people are empowered and know how to get healthy and stay healthy.
