“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn how to surf.” — Jon Kabat-Zinn
“In a challenging moment when I’m trying to practise mindfulness, I find it helpful to say: ‘Is that so?’ To me, it takes the judgement out of the situation.”
I thought about Mike’s words for a moment. I see my friend’s approach to mindfulness as an invitation to be curious. And when we can bring curiosity to a moment that could otherwise by riddled by fear, stress or any other anxiety-rippled emotion, it enables us to see things with an open mind.
We’d been talking about the moments when we need mindfulness the most. These are often the most difficult times to practise being present, but they have immense value in helping us to feel calm, balanced and at ease, regardless of what’s happening.
This is the power of mindfulness: allowing ourselves to be open and aware of what’s happening right now, without wishing it was any other way. This means appreciating an enjoyable experience without clinging to it (because it will inevitably pass), as well as being with a difficult moment without worrying that it will stay that way forever (because it will also inevitably pass). Mindfulness is what enables us to just be with what is. And when we do this in moments that stretch us — from something as simple as frustration while driving to something as large as a family member’s cancer diagnosis — we can meet the moment with awareness, compassion and grace.
Author and meditation teacher Travis Eliot explains mindfulness as a practice of cultivating clarity: “Mindfulness clears the windshield of the mind so that we can see things as they really are.” And if we explore a challenging moment with this insight, it doesn’t mean that we’re not going to experience anything uncomfortable or difficult, but we’ll be much more balanced and composed in how we approach the situation because we’re seeing things as they truly are.
If we can respond to any experience in life with an “is that so?” mentality, we’re opening our minds to the endless possibilities of how a moment can unravel. This sense of spaciousness is a beautiful by-product of meeting the moment with mindfulness.
Inside Being’s Mindfulness Workbook, we offer 60 guided activities to help you practise being present to the whole spectrum of the human experience — moments of light, dark and everything between.
