Let love into your home with feng shui

Feng Shui (meaning ‘wind water’) is an ancient eastern science, the origins of which are said to have emerged in India over 5,000 years ago. At its simplest, Feng Shui offers an approach to design and decorating that balances both the visible elements in, and the energy flowing through, your physical space.

The original principles of Feng Shui, catalogued in the Vedas in ancient India, were transferred by travelling monks from India through Tibet and into China. As a result, two distinct forms of Feng Shui emerged – the Luopan and Bagua methods, (China), and the Vastu system (India). Common to both is the attempt to re-create elemental and natural harmony within man made structures.

Both systems reflect the premise that the function and physical shape of your living areas affects your emotional life, energy levels and happiness. The inner/outer world connection upon which Feng Shui is based suggests that ‘simple’ clutter in a corner of your living space affects the areas of life to which that room is energetically linked. For instance, a disorganised laundry or storage room may be impacting your family relationships. Inherent within this all-things-are-connected premise is the responsibility you have as the animated conscious being in your space to maintain balance in your environment. You can begin to do this by ensuring what’s around you is in good working order, is useful or has a clear, defined and current purpose.

Feng Shui aims to create balance between the five eastern elements of Fire, Earth, Wind (Space), Water and Air (Metal). In nature, it is said that the elements are always and naturally in balance. Buildings break this natural balance, affecting energy flow and potential in the lives of those who live in all man made structures. When applying Feng Shui, the goal is to create harmony within your space, as eastern wisdom suggests that balanced physical space leads to improvements in all areas of life. The benefits you notice in specific life areas are a positive side affect of creating overall energy and elemental balance.

The power of clutter

No matter which avenue you choose through which to explore Feng Shui, you’ll soon discover the same basic beginning step – de-cluttering. Since Feng Shui is about harmony, balancing elements and creating space that is functional and flowing, it’s an understood tenant that unused, old, disorganised or broken stuff has no place in a well fenged, balanced Home.

Clutter acts as both a physical and energy barrier in your space. Clutter that blocks doors from properly opening, or you from easily moving through space, also blocks energy (‘chi’) from energising your home – and your life.

Clutter includes:

• clothes you’ve out grown or haven’t worn for more than 12 months
• unfiled papers
• cupboards, wardrobes or storage spaces bursting with no longer popular toys,
• gadgets or cleaning products
• make up drawers with half used, old or tainted products
• disorganised garages and garden sheds
• overflowing bookshelves

When love and romance are your focus, clothing (especially lingerie, underwear and sleepwear), mementoes and photos from old relationships are the biggest clutter culprits. While it may not be practical to simply get rid of major household items because they came into your life via a previous relationship, (though if you’re in a position to do so, it’s advisable, especially re beds/bedding), do as much as you can to update upholstery or change the look of major items so it no longer carries the energy or style it had when you and your ex used it.

The more you can remove the physical remnants of an ex or a bad love experience from your space, the better balanced and more receptive your energy becomes to attracting a quality someone new, or re-energising your current relationship. If you’re single, a powerful tool of attraction is to literally create space for a partner in your bathroom, wardrobe or bed.

The more clutter you have, the less successful your attempts at Feng Shui will be, so if that’s you, start here. Plan to tackle one cupboard, drawer or shelf at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

The shape of your space

All Eastern traditions that discuss Feng Shui and other energy balancing principles highlight the importance of square and rectangular shapes. It’s said that these shapes reflect balance and support the easy flow of positive energy into all the corners of your life.

If your home is L or H shaped, has an entryway dominated by a garage or otherwise does not conform to either a square or rectangular floor plan, you’ll need to energetically adjust your home’s shape to better enhance chi flow.

You can cure an odd shaped home or residential building by planting trees, shrubs or other garden ornaments in the missing corner. Imagine your uniquely shaped home was a square or rectangle, where would extra rooms or buildings be located? Creating a pergola extending from the main roof to cover this extra space is ideal, as is erecting fencing or planting a garden to mark out the potential corners or walls of a square/rectangle space. Doing so enhances the energy flow within your home. Balancing the shape of your space is especially important if you find your missing corner falls in one of the love and relationship directions (discussed below).

If your home’s front entrance is overshadowed by a prominent garage, you’ll need extra energy balancers to draw the chi up from the road into your front door. Your garage can be an energy deterrent if, from the road, it fully or partially blocks your front door. Lighting and landscaping can draw the eye – and chi – from the road to your front door, as does ensuring your garage is as organised and clutter free as the rest of your home.

With love and relationships in mind, consider using a pair of lamp posts or planting two partner trees or shrubs together. If using garden ornaments, a pair of animals or figures specifically invokes positive chi for partnership, as do plants with rounded or heart shaped leaves.

The Bagua Map

One of the simplest ways to access the wisdom of Feng Shui to improve relationships is through a tool known as the Bagua Map. This is a simplified version of the technical Luopan compass. It breaks your living space into nine cubes, based on the following template.

 

 
___________________ Front Entrance Starts Here___________________

 

You can apply the Bagua Map to your home and office (generally including the entire space covered by the main roof), or to each individual room inside. In either case, orient the Bagua as if you were standing at the main entrance or doorway about to enter the room or building (facing inwards). To enhance your love and relationship chi, focus your efforts on the back right hand corners of your home, rooms within it or your garden. The more right hand corners you are able to de-clutter, balance and energise, the stronger your love and relationship energy will be.

If fenging every room in your house is too big a job, pick the main rooms in which you spend most of your time – bedroom, living room, kitchen. Feng Shui practitioner Gerry Heaton states this back right hand corner of the Bagua Map covers ‘how you relate to people’, showing that energising this sector can improve all kinds of relationships.

With this new awareness as to which rooms or areas of your home are energetically linked to love, cast a critical eye over the furniture, colours and objects placed there. Do you like them? Are things broken, dated or in need or repair/replacing? Simple overdue DIY projects like recovering a couch or painting a tired room can make a big impact.

When applying any Feng Shui cure, aim to work from a big to small picture focus. Take in the space as a whole and note what needs doing in the space. Once furniture and function are improved, your smaller scale but energetically attuned cures will have a greater affect.

Simple love cures

To stimulate your space using the Bagua Map, you’ll need a selection of romantic images, statues or knickknacks, preferably in pairs. Key colours for this segment include reds, white and pinks. In his book, ‘Feng Shui for Australians’ Gerry suggests some of the following cures for this Bagua sector:

• a pair of candlesticks (remember to put candles in them, preferable red, white or pink and light them regularly)
• vase of pretty flowers (keep the water fresh and remove any dead blooms as they appear)
• pictures of pairs of animals
• rose quartz crystal
• healthy plants, especially those with heart shaped leaves, fruit or pleasant fragrance
• photos of happy couples (if single, use images of couples you admire, if attached, use photos of you and your sweetheart in good times)

Your love den

The bedroom is the prime room associated with love. Attending to the energy and function of the bed and other objects in your sleeping space greatly enhances romantic energy, whether you’re looking for love or hoping to reinvigorate your relationship.

The bed is paramount. Ensure it’s positioned so that it is easily accessible from both sides. According to Michael and Robin Mastro, authors of ‘The Way of the Vastu’ it’s ideal to position your bed so you sleep with your head to the south or, as a second option, to the east. This enhances your ability – and that of those who share your bed – to rest easy.

Beds that are pushed into a corner create an imbalance of power within relationships. Years ago I offered this very simple piece of advice – ‘Pull your bed out of the corner!’ to a lovelorn friend pining for the sporty bloke living next door. Within days they’d planned their first date (after weeks of many near misses), and recently celebrated the birth of the first child.

Once the bed is positioned harmoniously, consider the bed itself. Is it comfortable? (If you’re already in a couple, do you both agree on what constitutes a comfortable mattress?) Does the mattress get turned regularly? Is the mattress, frame or ensemble in good condition? Think back to where you got the bed. When you think about the energy of its arrival, does it sit well with you? A new bed literally equates to new romantic energy, and while it’s an investment, it may be the key if your bed was a hand-me down or is a relic of a previous relationship. Now consider the bed coverings. Are the sheets comfortable? Is the doona warm enough for the weather? Are the pillows supportive and plentiful? (Cushions and pillows enhance romance). Since the bed is the feature of the love room, clutter underneath is particularly detrimental to relationships. Michael and Robin Mastro also recommend light shades of yellow as being helpful with communication, saying ‘It’s wonderful in a bedroom, particularly the master bedroom, as it improves and enhances relationships.’

When considering the style of your bedroom as a whole you invoke Love Goddess Venus. Are the colours inviting and to your taste? After all, if your sleeping space, the most private room in your home, isn’t in your style, how can you expect to find a partner or relationship that is?

Venus loves fun, colour and creative expression, so design your individual sanctuary according to your individual style. Anything pretty encourages Venus to bless your boudoir and your heart. Jessica Shepherd, in her book ‘A Love Alchemist’s Notebook: Magical Secrets for Drawing Your True Love Into Your Life’ highlights the simple balancing effect fresh flowers in the bedroom offer. You may even make buying fresh flowers for your bedroom a regular thing, as if to show the cosmos you deserve to be treated with such affection and generosity.

Bedrooms easily attract clothing, books and paper clutter, however paperwork has no place in a fenged, balanced bedroom. If that’s you, make a new filing system elsewhere in your home. If dirty laundry piles up on your bedroom floor, implement a different system that allows dirty clothes to go speedily to the laundry.

Compass directions

Vastu, the Indian style of Feng Shui, is based on a compass system that links different cardinal directions to different elements and planets. Referred to as ‘Yoga for the home’, by practitioners Robin and Michael Mastro, Vastu considers the north and east generally positive directions. The north due to the magnetic influences from the pole and the east due to the power of the morning sun. The west and south have challenging qualities, though when used appropriately, can be helpful in their own right.

The amount of light in your living space, especially the bedroom, has an impact on your love life so increasing the light here in turn increases love and romantic opportunities. Try adding lamps and candles, or placing sun catching crystals in the windows.

Clearing clutter in the centre of your living space, as well as in the northeast and northwest areas of your home is key, as Vastu theories state that clutter in these areas leads to stagnant relationship energy. In their book ‘Making Room For Mr Right’ Robin and Michael Mastro say, “Your mess is a barrier between you and Mr Right”. Clear the mess and you begin the journey to clearing conscious and unconscious barriers to love.

The Mastro’s outline the Vastu compass, planetary and element connections in detail in ‘The Way of the Vastu’, the key points of which are summarised below.

 

(Diagram taken from The Way of the Vastu by Michael and Robin Mastro.)

If you seek more passion and attraction in relationships, focus on the southeast. If it’s depth and intimacy you crave, focus on rooms in the north. Since communication is integral to any relationship, especially a romantic one, balancing in the northwest is a must.

The southwest is linked to stability and security, and can be enhanced by placing heavier furniture in these areas of the house, or on these walls within each room. Clutter here impairs your ability to enter into a stable relationship.

If part of your challenge with finding or enhancing love has to do with low self esteem, then consider the west, which according to Vastu, is linked to self confidence and creativity. Since many wise practitioners highlight the importance of self love and nurturing before romantic love, the west can be an important area to de-clutter and energise.

The Centre

Both Feng Shui and Vastu highlight the importance of the space at the physical centre of your home. While traditional domestic architecture may have allowed for an atrium or open area in the middle of a home, today’s modern space and budget conscious building styles often do not.

Robin Mastro describes how the centre space influences and is affected by all the things around it, like an umbilical cord nourishes an infant. One basic energising technique she recommends for the central part of your home is to hang clear, faceted crystals around 30mm in size on red string (in increments of 9 inches in length). This acts as a simple stimulating technique for the centre area, which has positive flow on affects to the other directions and rooms in your living space. Of course, since the first step to any home energy approach is to reduce clutter, starting with the centre maybe the most efficient use of your efforts.

Altars for Love

Since all Feng Shui principles are based on creating sacred space, an altar to love can be an especially potent and conscious way to clarify your romantic desires. According to Michael and Robin Mastro, “Creating altars to support what you desire in life is a powerful way to stimulate your connection with the Divine Energy that is the very wellspring of transformation.” They also mention, “Altars are powerful tools of transformation that have a profound effect on your entire home environment.”

You can create a detailed altar to love based on Vastu principles (as outlined in ‘Making Room for Mr Right’) or Feng Shui techniques, both of which involve creating an altar which balances the five elements or you can, as Jessica Shepherd suggests in her book ‘A Love Alchemist’s Notebook’, create a Love Altar that’s uniquely you, using objects that reflect your personal love desires and needs.

However you approach creating your love altar, the first step is to select a location. It can be large or small, permanent or moveable (as in a special altar box) based on the space you have available.

The second step involves selecting objects that particularly evoke love, romantic or relationship desires within your heart. These may be objects, images or statues and could include a statue of a relationship focussed deity (like Venus), pictures of the kind of relationship to which you aspire, or images of pairs of things (see the list in simple love cures above for suggestions if you’re stuck). As copper is Venus’ metal, anything made of copper is useful, as are personally significant objects like shells, feathers, candles, incenses and crystals. Rose quartz is especially attuned to love and a pair of rose quartz hearts make an ideal inclusion.

You might also include words or symbols of the kinds of qualities you want in a partner or you’d like to have grow within your existing relationship. Use colour, perhaps by placing a favourite piece of fabric on the altar and then objects on top of it. Honour Feng Shui principles by using either one of the maps above to design the layout of your altar, and by incorporating symbolic or actual expressions of each element in the corners or compass directions to which they are associated. Think candles for fire, a bowl of water or symbols of the sea for water, incense for air or wind, rocks, stones, dirt or a small plant for earth. Don’t forget to honour the importance of the centre by creating an open space in the middle.

Your third step involves energising the altar, which is ideally done on a New Moon, or in the morning (at the start of the day). The exception to this might be if your altar is first about creating closure and completion with an ex, which would instead be best energised under a Full Moon.

To energise your altar, light candles or incense. Use some form of sound maker (bells, singing bowls or tapping to sticks together) to clear and purify the energy on the altar as well as your intentions. Then, spend quiet time (anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour) reflecting on your intentions around creating the altar. You may like to write down a specific wish or two. Be open as to how the universe provides what you seek – it really does work in mysterious ways.

Charge up your chi

Since many of the cures and remedies suggested through Feng Shui and Vastu involve drawing on the natural world and its objects, there are very few ways you can go wrong when attempting to balance elements and stimulate energy in your space. In his book ‘Feng Shui’ Richard Craze writes, “You can do no harm; you can only improve the Feng Shui, because you are using natural cures. The worst you can do is keep things as they are.”

When applying cures, select one or two (after clearing clutter!), and give them around four weeks to create change. After that period, notice whether your changes have had the desired effect. If not, make adjustments. If they have and you are comfortably incorporating the new opportunities and experiences coming your way, apply a couple more cures. Ideally, you allow yourself time to internally adjust between clearing clutter and applying different cures.

Even good things can be overwhelming in abundance, though your search for love and happy relationships will be greatly improved by balancing the chi in your space through Feng Shui.

 

References available on request.

 

Kelly Surtees is an internationally published writer devoted to expanding her wellbeing through personal growth. Her geographic home is in Nanaimo, British Columbia, Canada.